Trials……

Before we moved, I heard our dear pastor say more than once, “You are either going through a trial, coming out of a trial, or getting ready to go through a trial”.   Over the year that I heard him say that, life was good.  Not perfect, but it was good.  The last three months, however, I have come to appreciate and really understand what he was saying.  Trials……….they come in so many forms.  Health, financial, spiritual, family………..just to name a few.  What the trial IS, is not really important.  The important thing is how do you deal with it.  I believe that even in a trial, you should have peace.  If you do not, you are not on the right path.  When we submit to God, our lives, our fears, our worries, when we give it ALL to him, we will have peace.  I KNOW this.  I UNDERSTAND this.  And yet, I fight this.

Yes, I have been in the midst of a few trials during the past few months.  I have been researching and spending hours on the computer.  I have neglected my family by trying to solve one trial on my own and thus creating even more trials.  It has become a cycle.  And today, sitting in church, I began to understand.  The funny thing is, the sermon that I was listening to really had nothing to do with my revelation.  Honestly, I think that it was the first time in a long time that I just sat and was quiet.  I was able to hear God because out of pure exhaustion, my mind was not on other things.  It was refreshing, and I left the service today a lot lighter than I had entered.  It was a great feeling.

Today I spent the afternoon with my youngest daughter.  Away from my research.  Away from the computer.  We baked cookies and finished reading  The Secret Garden.  I had time later in the day to discuss an opportunity that has presented with my husband.  He immediately gave his full support and encouragement.  Exciting things, that are a bit outside my comfort zone, are getting ready to move quickly.  I have peace about them.    The trial that has consumed me the past couple of months, has been given to God.  It still requires action on our parts, but it does not require my constant attention and research.

Do you have trials you are going through now?  Have you given them to God and ask Him to lead you, to comfort you and to direct your every path?  If not, I encourage you too. 

Psalm 27:1  “The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?  the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?”

 

Is that the voice of God?

I wonder.

I think it is.

No, maybe not.

Yes, it must be!

Does this happen to you? Do you ever try to discern if a reoccurring thought is a message from God, or just a creation of your own? I do. I have, for years now and it is on the same subject. So my question is, HOW DO YOU KNOW???

Please allow me to think out loud for a moment as I attempt to make sense of this.

1. Is it biblical?

Over time, these are the scriptures that I have “stumbled” upon. James 1:27, Matthew 18:5-6, Psalm 83:3

2. What does my husband, as leader of our family, have to say?

He is not against the idea. He would support the idea. However, he does not speak of it unless I do. It has not been put upon his heart as it has mine.

3. Do we have the means (finances, physical, emotional capabilities)?

It would be an adjustment for the entire family. But so was moving across the county and we survived that! 🙂
Phil 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

4. Does it follow our priorities? God first, family second, everything thing else last.

I think so. But which category does it fall under? Is it sharing the Gospel (God), considering the needs of my family (family), or does it fall under “everything else”.?

Ok………..now that I have thought out loud. Let me share that the issue I am struggling with is Foster care. I have requested information in 2 different states during the last 5 years. I have researched, prayed, talked with foster care moms, prayed some more, talked with my husband and children, prayed some more. Is God calling our family to fostering? If he was, wouldn’t my husband also know this rather than just agreeing to it because it is on my heart? I would greatly appreciate if you would share any wisdom, experience or thoughts that you might have. I would also greatly appreciate your prayers.

 

 

 

Life has been crazy.  Good, but crazy!  We got so much accomplished in school this week and we hosted a tea party for 6-year-old girls this afternoon! I didn’t get any good pictures, but we used the real china, and had fairy bread and fruit cups for snack.  They day before the party, I started receiving messages from the moms because we were supposed to have freezing rain/sleet by this morning.  Last night, during her bedtime prayers, Kinsley said, “Jesus, can you please make the weather nice, because I really want to meet my new friends. Please.”  We woke up this morning to sunshine.  No rain, snow, or sleet.  Our party ended at 3 p.m. and it is just now starting to cloud up.  Seriously, the sun has been shining ALL DAY!  Thank you, Jesus, for hearing my little girl and saying yes to her heartfelt request.

Today is the 4th week since we started our 1/2 day of cleaning on Friday.  It is working SO WELL!  I have tried so many different systems and methods of cleaning over the years.  You know what FINALLY worked for us?  When I quit using other people’s systems and made my own!  It is the perfect fit for OUR family and OUR schedule and OUR lifestyle right now.  If my kids were much older or younger, it probably wouldn’t work as well.  If we didn’t homeschool, it probably would work as well.  I’ll share in detail soon!  🙂

 

And now I am waiting for my wonderful husband to get home so we an snuggle up and wait for the winter storm to arrive.  Tomorrow is his birthday!  We were planning to spend the day “in the city”, but with expected ice and snow, I had to prepare a back up plan.  Yesterday I picked up a nice steak for him, ice cream and frosting to decorate his chocolate chip cookie cake!  Bring on the snow!!  I could use a weekend of family games and getting all snuggled up on the sofas watching movies!

A Minecraft Party

We moved into our house in November.  It started to snow and turned very cold shortly after that.  We have only met one neighbor and that was because he stopped to chat while driving by.  The kids have not made any new friends, even though there are signs of children in our neighborhood.  We just have not seen anyone outside.  Since we chose not to join a co-op this year, we don’t even know any homeschooled children in our town.  So we decided to host a minecraft party!  I posted it on our local homeschool forum and the planning began!  Three families responded within the hour!

The boys worked with their dad to make sure that we could tie all computers together to play on the same server off line.  We made a snack menu, made a few decorations, and had a blast putting everything together!  When the day finally arrived, we had one last minute cancellation.  A second family had a medical emergency with Dad in the hospital (everything is ok now).  The third family with 2 children did come and they are the exact ages as my two oldest minecraft fanatics!

We started out with a very short video introducing us to castles.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_w4FGgOVsM

Then we learned about a medieval castle just a couple of hours from us!  Then the kids got busy creating their castles!  It was soooo quiet in here as their creative juices were flowing!  After 45 minutes of building, we had a snack and then they shared their creations!  Each one was very different, but very impressive.  It amazes me what these kids can do on this game.

Our goal in hosting this party was to meet like-minded friends the same age as my boys.  Mission accomplished!  The kids got along so well and the mom and I enjoyed some grown up conversation!  Next week we host a tea party for girls my daughters age!

Classical Conversations………anyone??

We are considering Classical Conversations. I am attending an informational meeting next month.  Anyone have any good or bad experience with it?  Any thoughts at all?

When we first started home education, I was all about the classical method.  Then I learned about the Charlotte Mason method and tried it for a while.  I suppose now you could describe us as eclectic!  I am just finding that the older my son gets (13 now), the more I want him challenged in every area.  Please share your thoughts!

Chill out mama bear!

Before I had children, I would seldom speak up against those who wronged me.  I would tolerate the offense and go on with my day.  Then I became an advocate for these little people who call me mom.  If they were wronged by an adult, or a child old enough to know better, I would not hesitate to politely call them out on it.  Unfair teachers, coaches, parents………….if you didn’t treat my children kindly and fairly, you would hear from me.  Now don’t get me wrong, it was not a daily or even a monthly occurence.  But when my sons teacher kicks a trash can and calls his class a bunch of idiots, you can bet he is going to hear from me.  Or when the school principal insists that the kids play basketball on the gym floor in sock feet, he’s going to hear from me.

Now I am faced with a different situation and it is one where I know that I need to just CHILL OUT!  My son recently received an invitation to try out for a top notch travel soccer team.  It is a team of 16, 17 and 18 year old boys.  My son is 13.  He was quite flattered by the invitation and gave it his all.  He went to every practice (on time or early), spoke with the coach before leaving, to get his tips and feedback.  There were 26 kids trying out and only 18 will make the team.  He found out this week that he did not make the cut.  Disappointment!  😦

 

Playing for the orange team

The “unfairness” of it all is that the coach told the kids,” if you want to make this team, show me that you care and show up for practice”.  The last 2 practices, only 14 boys were present out of 26.  My son felt certain that he would make the team and said that he thought he could tell who wouldn’t make it. (confidence and arrogance can be a fine line :))  And then I was ticked that the coach would talk to only my son and not include his parents in this disappointing news.  I mean after all, he REALLY wanted this and shouldn’t WE be there to help him through this.  I should call him.  I should call the coach and tell him all of these things.

On the drive home we talked about his options.  The coach invited him to continue practicing with the team and told him that he will hold try-outs again for the Fall season.  This means that he will not be playing games for an entire season.  OR, he could play with a rec league, OR he could try out for another travel team that practices 40 minutes from here.

That night it occurred to me that I needed to not run interference between my son and this dream.  This is a HUGE teaching moment.  Is it fair?  Maybe it is.  Maybe his skill level just isn’t where it needs to be.  And maybe LIFE just isn’t always fair.  Suck it up and move on.  He has some hard decisions to make.  Last I heard, he planned to continue practicing with this team because he respects the coach and the players.  I am very proud of this kid.  While he felt disappointment, he didn’t mope around and talk about how unfair it is like I did! (self talk, not aloud).  I see now that if I had called the coach, I would hinder my son’s growth, maturity, and maybe even his spot on the team in the Fall.

There is a difference between being an advocate for young children and teaching them to have the “poor me” syndrome.  I want to raise leaders.  I want my children to reach their goals by never taking “no” for an answer.  And that is why this mama bear is chosing to just chill out!

 

 

I don’t “do” used………

Those words were on my mind today as I flipped a U-turn and redirected my truck to our local Goodwill store. My husband was home today, so he became teacher for the day while I headed out to buy groceries. I was sitting at a stoplight when I had an AHA moment………..I was alone. No one whining that they are hungry, or too hot or too cold, or tired, or bored. No one was fighting, or trying to negotiate our electronics rules. The silence was golden and I was going shopping!

As I parked, and walked into Goodwill, I kept thinking about my friend that I met last summer. She is in her 60’s and lives alone. Her only living relatives are a sister-in-law that lives 2 hours away and a nephew that lives 16 hours away. She is very kind and our family just adopted her. One summer evening, I invited her go to area yard sales early the next morning with the kids and I. “No thank you.”, she said firmly. “I don’t do used”. WHAT?? REALLY?? She explained that she would rather do without if she can’t buy clothing or furniture brand new and she has NEVER worn used clothing. Ever.

I’m pretty sure that my jaw was on the ground. It was too hard to wrap my head around. I mean, who doesn’t love a bargain. I teased her and told her that I would convert her, but she was adamant. Her mother used to love shopping yard sales and my friend kindly drove her, but she said that she never got out of the car. Wow!

So today I walked away from Good will with 2 pair of black yoga pants and a make up bag for just $5. Everything I purchased is like new. It is not visibly worn. Sure, I would love to go and get the $60 pair of Under Armour, and maybe someday I will. But for now, I am happy with what I have! I LOVE saving money! 🙂

What about you? Do you “do” used?? Why or why not?

Gearing up for a new week!

Everything about this week challenges my “normal” schedule! We have been working hard to get things on a good rhythm for a few weeks now. Simple things……..like the kids staggered bed times. Wake up times. Meal times. And making healthier choices for those meals. My husband has been a HUGE help. Infact, he was the one that started the process by giving the kids a set bedtime and then reinforcing it. (isn’t that the hardest part? Reinforcing)

have extra soccer practices (5 days a week), 2 orthodontic and 1 dentist appointment, guests coming on Wednesday through Friday, and of course Valentines Day on Friday. Oh……..and I have to get the basement finished before Wednesday. By finished, I mean drywall putty, sanding and painting. I started it last night. It is always more work and takes longer than I think when I plan a project! Oh yeah, since we homeschool and that MUST be a priority (too much time off when we moved), I have a full work load planned for the kids and I pray that they will be able to complete a good deal of it independently! Did I mention that I am flying solo this week?? Yes, my husband has some work to do out-of-town.

My daughter and I ran to the store last night for some quick meals. I am trying to purchase quick, yet still healthy! Those icky frozen fish sticks that the kids love, did find their way into the cart. But otherwise, I think we are good to go on meals. They are planned out, so that I don’t have to think about them during our busy days and so that we refrain from ordering pizza because I was not prepared!

And now…………I’m off! Time to start the week. Before and after basement pics later this week for anyone who want to see a remodel on a tight budget! 🙂

Rediscovering Toys………….

My 8-year-old and 13-year-old son are pretty ticked off at their dad and I. We have been very mean to them, but not in the way that they think. If you ask them, we have been “mean” by greatly limiting their time playing games on the computer/xbox/ipod. If you ask me, it was mean of us to ever let them become addicted in the first place. My boys are having to relearn how to play with toys. I know that for a 13-year-old that is especially hard because at this age they are giving up their “play” time. So let me re-phrase and say that we are having them relearn creativity. If you recall, CREATE was MY word for 2014. It was about being intentional in my life. I have taken this very seriously and in the process, come to the realization that electronics have taken over our lives. Quickly tired of fighting the resistance of limited technology, I turned to my local library for help! I found this book:

What a gem!!!  From this book, I have learned that we are all born creative, but it is stolen from us when we entered school.  Consider the quote from the book referring to the day we entered school.  “We were not taught how to think; we were taught to reproduce what past thinkers thought.”

Yeah………….my kids think I am off my rocker.  My husband is fully supportive and really contributing to this change of life style.  And that’s what it must be………..a lifestyle change.  It is hard and right now, it hurts!  It is especially hard because it is winter.  It is easy to allow extra time on technology because it is winter, but in reality, there is SO MUCH TO DO indoors before the weather warms and we spend our days outside.  We have numerous puzzles to be put together.  We recently discovered the game of scrabble as a family.  We love playing Uno and Old maid.  My children are usually OK with playing family games.  The hard part is when they have to entertain THEMSELVES without technology.

I recently did a search for toys on Amazon.  With Valentines Day approaching, perhaps I will do a bit more than we normally do and buy an actual activity to help the kids with their transition.   Here are a few things I am considering:

DIY Rubber Band Bracelet loom kit, Lego friends, Lego minecraft and spirograph.  Remember spirograph??  I am also considering latch hook kids and lightbright.

We do have an entire library of children’s books and we make a weekly trip to our local library (which is beyond amazing).

Please, do share what your children enjoy playing with.  This process is tough on mom right now!  We do not have a peaceful home when everyone is in withdrawal  and bickering.  I have to teach my kids to be kids again!  I need help!  And coffee.  Lots and lots of coffee.  🙂

5 hours in the ER……Priceless!

We don’t run to the doctor often.  Infact, I am a firm believer that God made our bodies to heal naturally and fight off infection.  One way to fight off infection is through fever.  So I don’t give (or take) ibuprofen at the first sign of fever.  I give it if my child is too uncomfortable to rest soundly or if the fever gets too high.  However, yesterday, I decided that two children needed to see a doctor and would probably need an antibiotic.  We have had an annoying virus for the past 2 weeks that doesn’t really keep us down, it just drains our energy.  Yesterday, it appeared to turn into strep throat and an ear infection.  So I called our doctor at 8 a.m.

But there seemed to be a problem with our insurance.  Their system wouldn’t allow them to make an appointment for me.  So my husband spent 2 hours out of his busy morning, getting it “fixed”.  We had to give copies of social security cards (because their computer system mysteriously at the copies they have had for years) and several forms worth of life history!  What a mess.  I was told to “try again” to make an apt after lunch.  Called at 1:00, and the changes were not showing up in the system so, no appointment.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME??  I was transferred to a patient service rep.  No answer and left a message.  UGH!  2:00 p.m.,  I called BACK to the appointment line and gave the poor girl my LONG sob story.  She got the insurance rep on the phone and confirmed that we were indeed covered.  However, she was sorry because there were no more appointments available for that day.  WHAT???  I started calling at 8:00 a.m.!  She recommends that we go to the ER.  We hurry to get to the ER before the schools let out, and hope that it will not be busy!  We walk in to standing room only.  I check in and they offer to call our doctor to see if they can see us because there will be at least a 3 hour wait at the ER.  I send my children to the hallway to wait, so we don’t end up with more than we came in with!  Honestly, if we were not expecting a big snow storm, I would not have taken them to the ER in the first place.  So we wait, first in the hallway and then in a “special room” where we were not exposed to all the contagious crud that we didn’t already have!

3.5 hours later, we meet our doctor.  It was WELL WORTH the wait.  He confirmed that my daughter had an ear infection and invited my older son and I to have a look at a healthy ear vs an inflamed ear.  I told him that we homeschooled and this was the most interesting science lesson we have had in a while.  He looked up and said, “We homeschool, too!”  I should have known!  We share the same views about giving medications, which is amazing because most ER docs just quickly write a script and send you on your way.  Unfortunately, he only works in emergency medicine, so we can’t transfer to his practice.  I would have in a heart beat!

The best part of the visit, was when he shared with us that his 13 year old daughter was taking online high school ap courses offered by our state University.  I did not know this was an option.  I looked it up last night and it is now a very real possibility for my 13 year old for next year.  I had previously found courses offered at the local career center, but they actually came from the high school.   This ER trip, in spite of the long wait, was definitely worth it!!  It may seem like a small thing, but God puts people into our lives for a reason.  Maybe HE is the one that zapped our info out of the system, so that we had to go to the ER.  🙂